She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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