I want to stick my p in your. b.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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