oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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