why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
