answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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