fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
