TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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