I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
