You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
