I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I did not marry a roomba.
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