D3 body, D1 cock
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
