at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
