My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
