I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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