wanna go halves on a baby?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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