I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He better not be in your backpack
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
