my vag is so smooth its legendary
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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