You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
