His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
