I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
just found out that she named her cat after me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
