he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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