i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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