so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
