Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
