i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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