I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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