life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
