best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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