We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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