My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
