we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
