You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
