My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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