I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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