We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
