Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
