i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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