All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
