No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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