Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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