McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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