I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
