Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just want to make out with him forever
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
