literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
this is an emotional support booty call
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
