I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
