1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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