He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
