ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
