I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
