i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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