you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
