Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
