There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
