IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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