all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
