he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
