Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
