Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
